Things I Want My Teenage Daughter to Know

I never had much 'girl talk' with my mother as a teenager. The infrequency of these talks was more my fault than my mother's. I was just uncomfortable talking about somethings with my mother. Now that I'm just a little older, I feel I could tell my mother almost anything. We even share dirty jokes...yeah, it's strange. As much as I would like to have that 'tell me anything' relationship with my daughter (if I ever have one), I know our conversation might be limited to the I-can-see-your-ovaries-in-that-skirt variety. So here are somethings that I've learnt and want to share with my daughter:

Be the type of person you'd want to be around
Do you enjoy hanging out with a sullen whining person who snaps like they have perpetual PMS? Well neither does anyone else. Be that reliable good listener that you want as a friend. Don't expect much in the way of companionship if you choose to act like an obnoxious shrew because a horrible attitude can only get you so far. Treating people like crap isn't endearing and it doesn't get you any one's respect. They'll either avoid you totally or smile to your face while wishing you would spontaneously combust. The former will happen often, the latter most of the time.

Choose your friends wisely
You know that person who puts you down constantly and only encourages you when you want to do something extremely brainless and then stand on the sidelines, shaking their head in disapproval when you fail? Yeah, that's not your friend. I don't know what your doing with him/her but get away NOW! A true friend is supportive. They either stop you from doing something totally stupid, do that stupid thing with you or console you silently when you fail. Anyone who takes pleasure in your humiliation isn't worth it. Of course, the best friend you could have is the one who refuses to lie to you even when the lie is exactly what you want to hear--trust me when I say you'll be happy that she/he didn't. Choose a friend who is trustworthy and accepts you for who you are. And remember even the greatest friends screw up sometimes. You're not so perfect either.

Live a little. Take some risks
The last thing any parent wants to do is tell their teenager to take some risks but I think a little risk taking is good for the growing process and story-telling. Being a good girl is fantastic...on a school transcript. Maybe it's just me but I always felt that people who shy away from a little misbehavin' turn out to be naive. Is it just me? Well I guess people are different. When I say risks, I don't mean anything illegal, just little thrills that make life a bit more exciting like going zip lining, jumping carnival, going to an over-21 club or stealing a kiss from that persona non grata. My motto is get the crazy stuff out of your life while you're young or before you marry a member of a royal family (it can happen).

Step away from the 'bad boy'
The bad boy who gives up his ways for you is a fantasy. Why do you think it only happens in romance novels and movies? Only a handful of women can boast working that miracle, if you inherited my luck then you're not one of them. Listen to me when I say you will not be able to reform that boy, so don't try. In fact, leave that boy alone. I don't know what it is about these cocky insensitive jerks women just love them. We fall prey to them, hate that they don't treat us better but still stick around. So to save yourself all that trouble, spurn that rogue's advances. If male companionship is what you seek, please turn your attention to the 'nice' guy, he knows how to treat a woman.

It's worth it to wait
I know you think Trey Songz invented sex (sometimes I like to believe that he did) but the truth is sex has been around for centuries and believe me, it's not going any where. So there's no need to rush. You may not want to wait until you're married but at least wait until you meet someone you genuinely love and loves you back or until you've matured. Having sex just to get it over with--what is that anyway?--is a terrible idea. It makes sex sound like a dull chore preventing you from going out on a Saturday night. Don't let anyone influence you to do the deed when you aren't ready. Sex is so much sweeter when you don't have to deal with the insecurities that virgin's remorse brings. Besides no one has ever withered away from lack of sex (results pending). Although celibacy can prove to be a challenge...hence my next point.

Masturbation is healthy
Yeah, I said it. Every one masturbates at some point in their life and there's nothing wrong with that. If it keeps you from jumping into bed with some loser, masturbate away. Other than just helping you satisfy your urges, masturbation helps lower your blood pressure, reduces the risk of type-2 diabetes and does wonders for your mental health. Can't sleep? The solution to a good night's rest isn't far. A good self-loving session can even lift your mood. Oh listen to me, prattling on like a health pamphlet. I guess I was just surprised to learn that masturbation's benefits were so many--I've only mentioned a few. You know for all its benefits, you shouldn't over do it so practising some self control doesn't hurt.

Love Yourself
This self love is even more important than the previous self-love. Whether it be a physical attribute or a personality trait, everyone has something about themselves that they aren't satisfied with. Just take my word for it when I say only a few are swans all through adolescence. The best way to look better is some acceptance and confidence. So stop the fad dieting. Want to lose weight? Exercise. Hate your lips/nose/chin? Accept it, it might just give you a stronger appearance. Perfection is unattainable. People have literally died trying to look 'perfect'. Besides, your looks are only a minute facet of who you are. And not to mention, they fade- like a masterpiece in the sand. Work on being a better person, don't concentrate so much on the physical.

I do think I have imparted enough information on Miss Arianna Morgan Finisterre for now. Of course, the more I learn the more I'll have to tell her. Mmm...I wonder what I'll tell her next.